Sometimes the excitement of my future life almost cripples me. I can seemingly do nothing more than sit around and think (daydream?) about what the future holds and what my future life will look like.
Tonight is definitely one of those moments. As all of my application materials are coming together (at the last moment, but still coming together). I can't help but sit here with a stupid grin on my face. I don't have the slightest idea of what the next step will look like. To be sure, I know what it contains (where I will be living, classes etc) but I can't conceptualize yet how I will fit in or better yet how those new 'things' will fit in my life. There will be struggles, I know that. Knowing myself, I am certain of that. But that is ok. I am looking forward to it and I believe this past year has helped prepare me for the upcoming year.
Funny how God works huh? Providential.
So as pieces fall into place and my new reality takes form, new ideas emerge, new energies are created. I feel as if I am becoming something new. And that is a process that will take time, but it has begun.
I feel so fortunate. Being where I am takes time, and work. Quite a bit of work. And approval of quite a few people.
And for that I am grateful. Grateful that I have been approved to be in this position, not just to seek ordination, but that a new chapter in my life is opening up.
In a lifetime, how often does one get to do something like this? Rarely, if ever.
I am humbled. One day I hope to return the gifts I have been given. And that day will come I know. And that is the beauty of everything. It isn't a situation of going off, achieving something and making a new life for myself.
No, it is much more than that. These gifts that are happening for will enable myself to emerge, come back and spread the gifts I have been given. That is the true joy in all of this. Because that is what I am longing to do and it is in the process of being fulfilled.
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