A time to briefly reflect

I am starting to hit one of the many brick walls I anticipated.

This one isn't huge, but nonetheless it is there.

What am I doing here? Am I going to be successful? How will I pay for all of this? Seriously!

And then I stop myself. Sometimes I just go into silence. Sometimes I very quietly start to weep. Weep, cry, for what I've left behind. For the hard work yet to come. The stress. The change. Everything. Why not cry?

And I (hopefully) collect myself. This change is huge and traumatic. It is a change that affects every level of my being. So yeah, traumatic is an ok word to use.

So the wall I've hit?

Hopefully a minor obstacle. But it is there. Questioning, wondering, sadness, loneliness. I am in all those places. I don't want to be in at least two of those places, but, well, there it is.

This wall will pass within a day or so. And then perhaps another one will present itself. This is a life in transition. Assimilation. A work in progress if you will.

May God uphold me, lift me up, preserve and provide for me in these days ahead.