My own Easter season pt 1

As today unfolded it occurred to me that I am in the midst of my own Easter season. In fact that thought just came up a few moments ago.
I finished my applications to two seminaries late last night and early this morning, getting them mailed off at the last moment. Last night and this morning when I left them at the post office were both times of great joy, this was it. This is my time.

But as today wore on, and me being quite tired had a great effect on this, I became quite melancholy. I was helping my sister with her yard sale and even as we sat in the much welcome sunshine and very much enjoyed each other's company, I was sad. Sad I haven't spent nearly enough time with her and niece, not to mention my parents. Sad I would be leaving them behind. Sad I would be leaving my dogs behind, a very crucial element for me. Companions I was accustomed to being around constantly, every day, which has diminished a great deal over the past year, and in the future will diminish a great deal more, almost to the point of not having a relationship with them at all.

And for the last couple of nights I have had the dogs with me. So it is quite prominent in my mind.

But I know that is part of the sacrifice and for me, it is a huge sacrifice. Others may not ever see it that way. I do.

So back to my original point. I am living in the midst of my own Easter season and have been for a while now.

The dying off of my old life. And it continues to take time for that old life to die off. The vestiges, the emotions, perceptions, attitudes, all dying off and happening faster than I might expect for some, taking longer for others.

And what I am in right now, the long wait before the rebirth, the new life, the new energy. So at at times I almost feel as if I am living in an extended Holy Week. Each week, each month even, being equal to a long day in the walk of Holy Week. My end, well, my beginning really, starts in the fall. And for now, I must continue that walk.

I try to stay renewed but it is a challenge. My focus is constantly challenged, but I know I have God and hope, hope for that new beginning.