My discernment has finally progressed to the point where not only do I feel mentally and emotionally ok with moving away from Lexington, I am in the beginning stages of looking forward to it.
That is one of the real benefits the length of the process has afforded me. Early on I certainly felt called but it was as if everything existed in some sort of nebulous fantasy land. As things became more and more real and it was apparent what the next steps were, well, it required further adjusting on my part.
And now here I am. I am looking to move not even that far away, about 3 hours or so.
The only negative part of this for me, and it is huge, are the dogs. They will have to remain with my ex-partner. At least initially. The housing I am looking at doesn't allow pets. This is a huge mental and emotional challenge for me. Some might think, they are only dogs. No. To me they are companions, creatures that have trusted me to take care of them. I won't go so far to call them children. but really, they are the closest to children I will have.
I can't really express the mental process I have had to go through to get over the idea of not being close to or having access to my dogs.
It is what it is.
Beyond that everything is hopeful, joyful.
I have heard and been made aware of that this process (seeking ordination, going to seminary etc) involves some sacrifice. And that is part of it and part of the whole point.
I know what I am going to be sacrificing. My friends and family remain.
I remain excited and hopeful about the next steps. It is a good thing.
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