Things are set, I am moving in August, things I was worried about (financial aid mainly) have been worked out. I am hitting the eject button come the end of August.
So I have to deal with issues of leaving. It will be hard in some cases, mostly not hard, certainly emotional but happy.
My ex-partner is one of the cases that is going to be hard. There are underlying issues going on that I cannot figure out.
Tonight prompted this post. He called me, he was walking home from being out with friends, he was upset. There are some other major things going on with a mutual friend so I didn't think twice. My apartment is filthy so I quickly pulled things together and then he was here.
And within a couple of minutes he was (besides being inebriated) crying and saying he needed to just go home (which is also within walking distance of my place).
Part of me was a bit miffed. Part of me wanted to say 'don't you dare blow in here all emotional, teary eyed, making me clean up the place and not at least stay for a bit if not give me some idea of what is going on'.
That wasn't going to happen. I was insistent for him to at the very least stay and sleep for a bit, but he wasn't having that.
There is much going on in his life, my life, our life. And, a certain mutual friend's life. He wasn't giving up any details.
I think certain factors lead to certain emotions. But that is speculation.
While my initial thought was annoyance that he would dare blow in here and then leave within a few minutes without letting me know what was going on, my thoughts now are of great concern and other things.
Much is still unsaid between us. Much is left to be done, I think. I'm not sure what that means. I just think some sort of future, if it be one of pure friendship then so be it, is there.
Mostly right now I am concerned. For him and his well being. A troubled soul in need of help and someone that won't ask not will accept it.
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