Adjusting

I sit here and look at the nice leather couch my parents bought me when I moved into this apartment. I look at the cool Ikea bookcase I bought. At the various pieces of furniture, other bookcases, bed, nightstand etc I have pieced together to make an existence over these last few months.

I love my apartment. It is small and has some drawbacks, a tiny, tiny kitchen area. A heating/air conditioning situation I can't even get into. A few other quirks due to it being an old building. But it has character and despite any drawbacks I could see myself staying here for a bit.

But I'm not. I am leaving in August and all of the niceties and quirks I have grown to love are going away. I'm ok with that, but I also know I don't like change. I don't like uprooting my life situation. I don't like new situations.

This is a huge step, one I am extremely excited about. Looking forward to. Necessary. A good thing.

But knowing my living situation is going to change is just another process for me to deal with.

I know my day to day life is going to change, but having been unemployed since November and been going crazy ever since, a change in my daily schedule is welcomed and embraced. I want that!

I believe I am focusing on the emotional aspects now. Leaving behind the ability to call up my ex-partner so I can see the dogs and/or hang with him. Listening to music with a glass of wine like the old days.

That part of my life is behind me. For the next couple of months that will be my life, and gladly so. I want to have fun before my life changes. But I know.

Much is to be left behind.